You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
