the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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