Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
