I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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