we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
