so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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