he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
