Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
