It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Randomize
