that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
