I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
