Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize