Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize