You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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