Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Randomize
