I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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