i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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