Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
