Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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