I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
