this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Randomize
