I looked at my own cervix.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Dear god my vagina.
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