i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
