Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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