Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize