i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
