have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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