It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
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