Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
