unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
