i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
