It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I got inside last night via doggy door
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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