If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
