I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
