that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
