when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I just want nice things and good sex
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
