i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
