I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
