just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
