How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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