I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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