Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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