What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
