Define "chronic" masturbator.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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