You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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