Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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