singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
