OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Randomize