i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
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