so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
