Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Randomize
