Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
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