omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
