I cockslap morals
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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