ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize