Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
