So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
